Your soon-to-be ex reminds me of a couple I know. Ted and Alice had been married for about twenty years when I got an email from Alice. It began, "Ted has decided he no longer wishes to be married." Talking with Alice some months later, she said when he had first expressed this wish, she suggested counseling. They went to one or two counseling sessions, but Ted refused to do any of the exercises suggested. When she asked why, he told her he had already decided to divorce. He agreed to the counseling in the hope she could accept it better.