Originally Posted by
Ariesagain 
First, I’m so very sorry this has happened to you and that you’re hurting so much.
Second,
Wow, that’s an All-Timer for the alcohol-enhanced self-pity gobbledygook hall of fame. I don’t even know where to start on how much equine manure that contains.
I have a big concern that he has now burned his bridges with Enabler #2 and she is now threatening to kick him out of her life. Hence, he’s simpering back to you…or at least keeping you hitting the pause button in case he needs another escape route. Please understand that none of what he’s saying is real, useful, or worth the oxygen it takes to express. Ending the call was the right thing to do, so good for you.
I take it you haven’t blocked him? Why? Leaving that door open will just make you live in a constant state of stress, wondering if you’re going to hear from him or not. It’s impossible to heal if you keep giving him headspace to hurt you again. As for “I detached with love which made him believe I don’t care about him,” is just not true. You can’t “make” anybody feel anything, he’s just playing the wounded card because it works.
I hope you’ll consider going back to Al-Anon and maybe finding a therapist for one-on-one support? And please, please, for your own sweet sake, block him. On everything. Until you do, the healing can’t begin.
I’m sorry for your hurt.
P.S.
Not even that part is true, is it? Wasn’t he dating both of you at the same time…for months?
He has me blocked on socials so I can't block back now. I have an android phone, which sends blocked calls to voicemail, and blocked texts to a folder. He's never fully blocked. Besides that, he blocked out his number when he called. Sober enough to remember to do that apparently.
I also suspected maybe new girl is pulling away so he circled back to me. But he claimed she's in deep with him, I mean, he met her kid recently. I know exactly what he's feeding her too, as I've been fed the same lines when he was trying to hang onto me years back.
i guess I'm trying not to believe the last 4 years was a lie, and that what I felt was real. That he has been so lost in his addiction, that he's not thinking clearly and the guy I know is in there somewhere. But... there's no way alcohol can make him do all of this. Like basically using a single mom to see how you feel about parenting (so he says. He may just be trying to spare my feelings). That just seems like a jerk thing to do, not alcohol related. And yes, he lied about continuing to date her. He told me they went on 3 actual dates then he stopped once she caught feelings and he wanted to reconcile with me. He kept that lie up for 6 months until I caught him (actually, his own mother let it slip by accident.)