For real dandylion! And I catch myself thinking “but what if this means it’s really over for good. He will never forgive me.” Ugh. That’s why I have to do it. My logical mind knows, that’s backwards. I may not ever figure him. If I do, may it be in a pathetic way. Like “I forgive him for being his truest self”. And that truest self, has no place in my life, ever. In fact, may I never give him a chance to ever dismiss, discard, minimize. Lie, deny and so on to my face or in my ear again! May I never put myself in that position again.
after he would blame me for everything, he used to say he wanted me to get help for being a liar! Any truth spoken meant I was a liar. He’d want me to admit I did this on purpose and get help for that also. I never would give in to that. Not once. I couldn’t. But that projection is thick.
I just cannot buy in to the idea that they don’t know what they’re doing.