JT,
I have done quite a bit of reading etc on the subject. It was one of the things that ultimately led me to Al Anon! People who grow up in alcoholism develop their own coping mechanisms, things that help them get thru and survive. They often take their experiences, their definitions etc and repeat the patterns as they become parents - and the generational nature of this disease continues.
For me, Al Anon works. It has helped me to understand my past, put things in their proper perspective, and to learn new ways of coping and moving forward in my life. For others, I suppose ACOA is more helpful. Awarenenss, Acceptance, Action. Thats what its all about for me!
HUGS
Osier59