Basically he can do what he likes without any regard for my feelings and I'm not allowed to express any anger or unhappiness because then I'm an enabler.
Says who?
Cant prevent him from doing or not doing what you want/dont want him to do...but who says you cannot express your self...in an appropriate way?
Appropriate being the key word.
Showing appropriate feelings is not enabling, never heard it as being such.
Say what you mean
Mean what you say
and dont say it mean.
Otherwise, the message is lost and you could end up looking badly.
To cure resentment: Pray for him to receive the same good things in life thta you wish for yourself...peace, sanity, health, love.
Do it daily.
It works.