Thread: AVRT meetings
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Old 04-19-2021, 08:36 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
DriGuy
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Originally Posted by Obladi View Post
Discussions of AVRT need not exclude the reality of factors beyond (or before) addiction. But I do agree that AVRT meetings would be pretty much a waste for anyone who has already grasped the concept. Struggling is not always a symptom of AV, but if I DO choose to drink ever again, I have no problem with conceding in advance that the AV was absolutely in play.
I'm new to Rational Recovery, although the gist of it resonates so well with me, because I've been doing it intuitively almost since I started to get well. I sense that this is an interesting discussion, but I confess, I'm having a hard time following it. I think I could if I took more time and studied it very very carefully taking breaks to digest small parts at a time. Why is this? The book was kind of the same way. I got it. I got it, but some of the parts I just flew through as they seemed necessary to me. Part of that may because I'm of the notion that in my situation, if things ain't broke, you don't need to fix them. And now I'm feeling derelict in my studies. But maybe I'll come back to that and finish it more thoroughly. From this thread, I do now understand that the method may not be that intuitive for many of us, and I'm sure that if I study it more, I'll find somethings I don't understand in the book either. What I do know is that the parts I've discovered on my own have served me well for so many years.

As far as the Big Plan, I got that almost right away, never questioned it, and just did it. I've probably been aware of my AV for most of my life, although I really grasped it's danger when I started to deal with my alcohol problem.

But all that blather and apology to respond to the first thing in this thread that I understood well enough to need to respond to. You said:
but if I DO choose to drink ever again, I have no problem with conceding in advance that the AV was absolutely in play.
Having embraced the Big Plan, I have so often wondered what possible reason could there ever be that would cause me to drink again? I came up with one that might beyond my control, insanity, but I'm really stretching for something there, because I've never been insane. Knock on wood, and lets disregard that.

The only reasonable explanation would be that I accepted bad advice from my AV, which still after 25 years pops up and at most makes some silly comment. But could I be seduced by it ever? No because I've never stopped being vigilant, always on the lookout paying attention for when it invades my thoughts. I hear someone saying, "But I'm not going to go around for the rest of my life worrying about when my AV might take over."

I'll just say that it not some superhuman task to stay aware, and here's why. I rather obsessed about it early on, some may say carried to an extreme, but eventually, it becomes habitual. You just don't stop doing it. But here's the really wonderful thing about it. I does not infringe on one minute of my time smelling the roses, watching a pair of spotted fawns cavorting in my yard in June, or debating some interesting philosophical issue. It is so second nature that it interferes with nothing. And it doesn't mean I must close myself off from something else. And I am still free to take in more and more of my environment and the things around me.

Sobriety is not about closing your mind off to things. It should be about opening up to more and more experiences, vigilance being one of them, and I find that happening now, although later in life than I would have wished. I still close off parts, sometimes quite consciously when I know they are harmful, and another reason to make keeping tabs on your AV is not just about you drinking. Call it Voice A and realize that it makes all sorts of plans for you to do stupid things that are personally harmful. It's important to monitor that station, because you never know when it's going to broadcast. Just be ready to listen so you can turn the volume down, and separate it from reason.

I'm not sure why I have to say all this. I guess mostly because I just wanted to be a part of all this, and I hope to learn more. I'll read the book again. It's not unusual, I'm well into my third reading of James Michener's Alaska, and I've got another rather obscure book that I've read more times than I can count. It's called A Short History of Nearly Everything. There's just too much in it to absorb in one reading. I've given copies of it to three of my friends who can't get into it, but I've met a few others that like it a lot. OK, I'm done. Promise.


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