View Single Post
Old 04-11-2021, 09:40 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Bulls626
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2021
Posts: 5
New here... And really need advice

Hello, I found this site googling for advice to my situation. I have a now ex that I've known for years. She has been through a ton in life (rape, molestation, abuse the whole nine) but we decided to give it a try two years ago. During that time I found out she was using heroin and cocaine. She ended up losing custody of her daughter late 2019 and went to rehab after hitting what I thought was rock bottom in January of 2020. When she got out of rehab everything was different. She was going to meetings and living in a sober house. She was working attending therapy and everything seem awesome. Then in March of last year everything just crashed. She told me her ex (the guy who introduced her to drugs and was responsible for a ton of the abuse she went through) was out of prison and contacted her online. She was scared but was hell bent on getting revenge and taking "her power back". Well a month later she had the guys named tattooed on her back was back on drugs. She would lie to me about everything, crashed the car I bought for her to get to work, stopped visiting her kid and got kicked out the sober living home.... All by the being of July. I was there through all of this but again everything was a lie. She told me she was living with her brother when in reality she was living with her exs sister in the same complex where he lived with his parents. When she crashed the car it took her three days to tell me and another week for me to get the key from her just to get the car towed. I spent months pulling my hair out and stressing because we would go long periods where she wouldn't even answer the phone and I would randomly see her in drug areas (I'm an emt so I'm in those areas a fair bit). So I'm calling hospitals and jails and praying that I don't ever have a call where I have to pick her up. The lies were so bad she told me she was taking over the lease to her brother's old apartment but it turned out it was her exs sister apartment. Fast forward to now and she's been clean since February (I take her to and from the methadone clinic every day) and she's trying to get her daughter back. But I have almost no trust in her. She's told me alot about that time and been up front about some things but after all of that I just question everything. Is this normal? Am I supposed to just cut her off? Idk how to handle this at all. And I'm afraid of just abandoning her cause I'm really attached to her daughter. That and her exs sister was killed by her ex in a similar situation that she was/is in. Sorry for the wall of text I'm just really frustrated and I want to be there and recognize where she is now but can't just pretend like the past doesn't hurt.
​​
​I left some stuff out but ask any questions you have. I'm here for real advice and want to be as open as possible.
​​​
Bulls626 is offline