EVERYONE who has gone to Al-Anon has been through the same things as you have with your mom. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I think you will find it very comforting to be around people who have been where you are. Just remember, Al-Anon is there for you, not for you to learn how to help your mom (that was something that took me a little bit to figure out).
The more you concentrate on you, the more you will feel like a normal person. Just take it one day at a time. Don't try to look at the big picture right now. Things will fall in place as time allows.
ps...you can ramble here all you want.
WELCOME TO SOBERRECOVERY!!!