Hi Cura, I'm glad you found us and hope you manage to find some support here.
Originally Posted by
Cura 
First time I've ever found this counsellors response to be so far off my own beliefs but am I missing something here? I know no one can tell me what's right for me without knowing more, but its been said like it's obvious and standard to leave if you love an alcoholic that doesn't want to quit.
The appropriate actions to take in response to a loved one with an addiction is extremely non-intuitive. Most of us believe that being caring and helpful to those we love when they are in trouble is the correct way to react. This is certainly true for most situations; however in the case of alcoholism an healthy, appropriate response is very very different.
Alcoholism is sometimes called a disease of choice. Unless the individual wants to stop drinking there is no way that any one can help them. Furthermore, if they decide they do want to quit, the best people to help are other alcoholics or professionals. The best spouses and family can do is step back and stay out of the situation. All of us here had to learn to do this and it sucked beyond sucked . . . . it is super tough.
Keep posting Cura and let us know how you get on. You are in a very difficult situation.