JPA I couldn't read this without commenting. I could have written much of your post. I don't have experience with the eating disorder part but everything else.
Have you reached out for in-person help with these problems?
I have had thoughts of suicide for years off and on. I figured it was normal it went on so long. The only thing stopping me many times was my kids, I couldn't bear to think of them growing up and blaming themselves. I had to take that 'option' off the table.
I am addressing my drinking issues here. It's not perfect. But I am learning some tools. I am trying to stay focused on things I am grateful for like my wife and kids, my career, my health, net worth, nice home, ... really anything I can think of. I try to use some deep breathing for a while when cravings hit. Sticking around here and reading old threads has been very helpful for me.
Just wanted you to know I feel your pain. I think you can get through this.