What is really good about this is that you posted here. You have reached out to get help elsewhere and you are doing everything in your power to ensure you do not relapse. That is what I read. That is how I have taken your post. I think you are going to be just fine. I really do. You know how bad it can get.
Our minds do fantasize all sorts of crap that is not good for us. There is no harm in asking for and receiving help. We all need it at certain times and certain crossroads in our lives.
Keep on moving forward!