Great post Free Owl. I knew early on that I had a problem, and made several half-hearted attempts to quit. I did in fact quit for two years during my marriage in my 30's, but went right back to it when we separated because, well, dating, lol. And because I was able to mostly control it I kept on drinking and numbing the emotions for a couple more decades after that, until I got sober here in 2013. I won't say they were wasted years, and I managed a few wins, but if I'm brutally honest, I came nowhere close to realizing my personal potential. The worst sort of self harm.