Yes, Bute, I have experienced the same. Although he is not in an official prison, he's in one of his own making through addiction. He's in rehab right now, so I know he has a roof over his head and food to eat. I haven't really enjoyed any time with him since he was about 11; a few choice moments here and there, but there was always the specter of his addiction clouding our time together. We've been walking on eggshells ever since he started into puberty. No birthdays, holidays, special events, etc. I haven't seen him on Christmas in over 15 years. And yes, days go by that I don't think about him much. That's so sad to admit as a mother, but that is what addiction does to us. It's how we survive.