Deep down I know you are all right. Continuing drinking only leads one place.
For the last 3 years i have been able to keep my intake under 40 Units by willpower and fear of bad health but I reckon I could easily just keep going. Convincing myself by taking 3 days off a week will keep it in check and in terms of physical addiction I think I have succeeded.
My problem is the mental aspect. The void I feel when not drinking, it may sound silly but it almost feels like boredom or a feeling nothing is as good as drinking. I can watch TV but it doesn't replace drinking and listening to music. I'm waiting for the "Friday night feeling"
The sober me being left with my own thoughts and anxiety which drink suppresses is what scares me the most.
Any small physical symptoms I have in the first 3-4 days after my last drink I can easily overcome. It's after that time I find hard, when there is nothing left to fight but your own thoughts and mental state. The void and what comes next.
Maybe none of that makes sense but that's kinda how it feels day to day.
Thanks for listening.