"If staying in our relationship jeopardizes his recovery I gladly give it up. If he really gave me up because he was trying to do what is best for me I wish he would let me decide."
That isn't your decision.
It is hard to lose your best friend. Especially if you are like me and staying with your addict drove the other people you were close to away, so there isn't anyone to lean on.
Start by being your own best friend. Tell yourself what you are worried about and what's on your mind and then respond to yourself the way you would if a girlfriend told you the same thing.
Because at least from this post, it sounds like you aren't getting any benefit from this situation, and remaining tied to it is probably preventing you from focusing on building the healthy relationship you need with yourself, and building healthy relationships with others.