Thread: 120 Days
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Old 12-29-2020, 11:16 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
trailmix
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I went and had a look back at some of your other threads.

Whatever he was doing/thinking before was not working for him at all, in terms of staying sober. He has tripped through detox and rehab all year. If he is reluctant to get back in to the same lifestyle that he had, I think that's completely understandable and actually a good thing. He has only been sober for 120 days, that's a tiny drop in the bucket.

It's possible he is not in a correct mindset to go back to work, perhaps he has real reservations about that. Perhaps that is something that can be discussed at therapy with you. There has to be a reason.

If that is the case, well it is and until he is ready to work it is probably very risky to have him move back in. He will be there all day, idle time, with you working and no where to go, due to covid. Perhaps he realizes this also.

Also, if you have a boundary that he needs to be working again before coming home, you should let him know at some point (don't want him to be blindsided).

There are no promises that this will "stick" this time, just a hope that he will do his utmost to make sure he is in a good place before he makes any changes, hopefully that's what he is doing.

I know it's hard with all the restrictions now to keep busy yourself, but I would really recommend focusing more on yourself. I know you have a lot riding on how his recovery turns out, so it's hard to switch off from it but it will do you no good. So more focus on your needs and happiness. What do you like to do? Do more of that. Make plans for yourself, connect with friends however you can.

And post here of course! : )


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