Originally Posted by
TwinOtterFan 
I think I need to end my marriage and take my son. I don't know why I can't do it. I'm frozen with fear, it seems like the logical step to take so why can't I move forward.
I dream about suicide most nights in bed, I feel mentally exhausted, alone, hurt. I'm trying not to take her drinking personally but that's barely working.
Hi twinotter. Well, it is the next logical step but the reason it's so hard is that you haven't made that decision yet. You mentioned you have left before and coped well, now it seems like a huge mountain.
This is different because perhaps you are thinking of leaving for good, rather than just as a temporary trial. Also, you are further along and have been living in the insanity longer, it affects everyone.
Remember, no decision you make is written in stone. If your decision is - I need to get out of here and so does my child, so I am leaving (or asking her to leave). That is a decision. No long term plan, those can all come later, will you try to fix this relationship, will your Son see his Mother regularly etc etc, you can get overwhelmed with all of that and it's really not the issue right now, you know what I mean?
Make a decision and then form your plan to leave, that's all you really need to focus on right now. Whether you leave for a year or longer, those decisions can come about later when you are settled and calm. It will give you time for the FOG to lift (fear, obligation, guilt).