Friend, you two have very different ideas about how you want to live your life. It's not harsh or wrong, it just is what it is.
I am curious what kind of a future you envision with him? Right now you say he is loving and cooks dinner for you, but he also binge drinks, cannot stop once he starts, hides alcohol, verbally and emotionally abuses you when drinking, says he will get help but doesn't, and lies about what he's doing. He has a LOT more and bigger issues to get through than just finding a job before he can even think about being suitable relationship material. Cooking you dinner is nice, I guess? But verbally and emotionally abusing you is simply unacceptable. That is not "loving", by any definition.
I don't think asking him to leave was harsh, no. I think you are allowing him the dignity of the opportunity to get his **** together like any other adult is expected to do.