JW-
A brief backstory, I'm the wife of an AH who had an affair just 2 months after marrying, we've been together 9 years married 4 years. I stayed and forgave based on promises of staying sober. He didn't stay sober. I regret staying with him. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess. He still drinks and can be horrible to me when drunk.
As others have said let her show you she's really committed and give her time/space to work on recovery. If later down the road you can unite again, great! But none of us deserve that type of "love". Take care of you, love her from afar if you need to, and let her take care of herself....she has a long road ahead if she stays focused. You can move past hurt by working on you, give yourself permission to focus on you.