Hi akrasia. You have been around this forum for some time so you know that whenever you are focused on other people and their actions (which you cannot control) you are in a for a ride.
These people are just being controlling, perhaps with good intentions. They don't know the 3 c's and they probably have little to no idea what alcoholism is. I'm sure you have come across this many times over the years. I think your reply was good and I would personally go further with that and ask to be taken off the group email.
I'm also sorry you feel like a victim.