Wow! There ended up being a lot more comments on here then I realised. I’m very interested in reading through the discussion.
I am the original poster. So just an update.
I just passed a year sober. One difference between myself now and when I posted this originally is that I don’t really expend much mental energy debating the kinds of questions I’d ask myself back then.
I just know alcohol is bad for me, and I don’t want to drink it. I’ve found simpler is better for me at least.