Originally Posted by Nic233

Hi all, I am just checking in to keep me honest. It's just after 9.30pm on Sunday, Perth WA x

I am struggling to get back on track. I manage a few days and then i relapse again. I saw my GP last Sunday and she has given me a script for my meds which helped me get sober last time but unfortunately this time i have some hurdles to deal with ..

I don't want to write an essay but those who have been on this site for a while will know that i was diagnosed with bowel(colon)cancer a couple of years ago. It was pretty hairy being stage 3C but surgery and chemo worked it's magic. I have been having 3 monthly scans ever since and everything was great until a few weeks ago when i went back to my doctor for a general checkup after feeling absolutely exhausted, and dropping 8kg within a few weeks.
I was sent for bloods and a pet scan which unfortunately lit up like a christmas tree according to my oncologist. I am now sadly stage 4 with mets to my liver and lungs. I am only 42 so it's really not ideal (not that it ever is!!)

My biggest concern is that my oldest Son Jordan (20) is in Melbourne doing his Navy training to become a Marine Technician. Melbs is rife with covid and he can't leave base currently. Due to these circumstances, I have decided not to tell him that I am terminal as he would just panic and he can't come home right now.
We are lucky that Perth is Covid free thanks to our strict border closures, but I am having issues with my youngest Son who can't accept my reasoning for not telling Jordan about my health.

I am not feeling sorry for myself but my mentality right now is why shouldn't I drink if i may only have 6-12 months left at best. I don't want sympathy, that's not why i've posted this, It's more just a safe place to vent.

I know many of us are doing it tough with covid and other factors. I guess I will stay close to SR.. I do NOT want to waste the last months of my life pissed. I will try and take it day by day and not take that drink.

Anyway this has become the essay I didn't want.