Newhope,
My story is very close to yours and the others who have shared.
I stayed because of similar reasons, and it was such a mistake. I thought I owed him, that he needed me, etc etc. I finally left and six months later he was recoupled and much better off, we all were. And my eldest's only complaint in the end was that we waited so long.
The weird thing is that he did awful things to me, truly, but he never used my drinking against me and he could have.
So, long story short, you will find a way to survive. You all will. But follow the good advice here, get ready. And then make the leap. Sounds pretty obvious but your daughter is much better off being raised with less material things than with a father who would wish her mother dead. as are you.
And you may just find a man who deserves you. I did. And I did not even look....
X