NH,
So sorry for what you are going through. I’ve been divorced for years now, and we split when my boy was young.
I am a very happy single mom. I’ve never remarried, and am happy to be beholden to no one. Any future marriage would be on my terms.
I say that just because it sounds like you perceive two miserable options...stay or go. I have no idea what you may find going forward, but I found a bunch of peace and contentment solo. It is possible.
My best wishes to you.
-bora