silentrun, i’m so very sorry to hear of this loss, and the way of it.
it IS angryfying, such a death. i would worry if you had no anger.
what helped me with anger meshed with overwhelming grief and love was crying. walking. screaming. joy at the love mixed into it all. thankfulness. the structure of workdays.writing.
the longer time went on, the more i left the anger, or maybe it left me, and other feelings and “stances” gained space.