I am sorry for your loss silentrun. My heart goes out to you. What would your friend want for you? Would she want you be angry and have a stroke or worse. I imagine she wants you to find the peace and serenity that she never could find while she was physically present on this planet. I believe that my loved ones who have passed over to the astral plane are still available to help and guide me if I open my heart and my mind. Reach out, it always surprises me when I do.