The day-to-day comfort zone has been shattered and the winds of change are blowing. The winds blow into corners that have not seen light for many lifetimes, and the pain can be almost unbearable. We find our greatest fears are unfounded as we let go to the Light. Hanging on causes our distress; freedom is already ours, we just need to let it be there.
Early in my recovery,, it was difficult for me to let go and let my life change. With all the chaos, with all the pain, my life as I knew it was familiar and therefore comfortable. I
knew how to live the way I was living. My life was predictable, so I knew what to expect. I knew how to treat the pain and regain my strength so I could handle the next round of the same thing.
What slowed my growth was fear of the unknown. I couldn't see where change would take me, and didn't know if I was prepared to deal with new life, new feelings and new actions. Nothing was predictable, and therefore it all felt unsafe.
Two things happened at the same time that helped me with this. I surrendered in exhaustion and went to my first meeting. And there I saw others who had been where I had been, or worse places, and they had something I wanted. I had no idea what it was, but I saw peace and serenity and love on their faces, and I became willing to do whatever it took to get some of that for myself. Blind faith was the only way I could do it.
Letting go, to me today, means sometimes just letting blind faith lead me to wherever I need to be.