Happy birthday sista.
I have been thinking for some time about how the expectations of addicts both by themselves and others is higher than the general population. The process of becoming sober seems to be confused at times with becoming perfect with no resentments, anger, ego etc. I realise that the reason for this is that those emotions are bad for all and worse for us, but even addicts get to be human IMO.
I was thinking about this again reading the most recent posts here by O and others. We all have huge guilt abut our kids and that is usually justified. In my case certainly for my eldest. But to turn that into shame and to make it such that our kids get to do (or not do) or say (or not say) anything because of our role in creating their trauma in my view is not good for them nor is it reasitic. But still I do it with my eldest and she plays it either knowingly or not. And that is not good for either of us.
What to do - no idea. I dont think she knows she is doing it and the "conversations" are so hard not sure they don't do more harm than good.
About the sponsor conversation, I was struck by the remark about firing her because she was telling you things you already know. People tell me things I already know constantly and if they didn't I would never learn anything becuase they would assume I know everythnig they do. Also because knowing and knowing can be two totally different things.
Thoughts for the day.