Hi Charlotte,
Your husband sounds very much like mine. Mine has been sober for several months now, thankfully, but he was drinking far more than I ever knew. He also was one of those 3-4-5 beer a night guys. What I didn't know was that he'd had that many on his way home from work every night. So really, he was packing away twice as much as I thought. It's amazing what these guys can hide! If you've "busted" your husband already, he might be doing it more often than you know.
You will find great support here and in the al-anon forum. Try to find/read the al-anon book and maybe start going to meetings. It will teach you how to take care of yourself -- the most important thing for you right now.
I'm curious, though, how would AA ruin your husband's military career? Can you explain that to me?
Best wishes and I hope things work out.
Kath