Dramarama, I am so sorry to hear your wife is spiraling into the depths of alcoholism. Thank you for coming back to give us an update, I hope you keep doing so as you can.
It truly is baffling that a parent can be so willing to endanger their own children for the sake of a substance. My ex husband was the same way when it came to drinking and driving (as well as other drunken escapades). Makes me sick to think back on it. I am so very thankful that our children, nor anyone else's, were ever hurt, or worse, by his horribly selfish behavior. He never believed he was ever putting anybody's welfare in danger. It seems to me, addicts are incapable of understanding the effect they have on others...or they just don't care. Devastating stuff.
I know how infuriating, terrifying and painful it is to deal with a spouse that is in the grips of addiction. The broken trust that comes from the blatant lies and manipulations is soul crushing. I got so exhausted from trying to help and fix my AXH that I ended up very sick myself. I know anxiety does not kill a person, but every time I had a panic attack it sure felt like I was dying. It was an awful way to live, I was just as caught up in him and his addiction as he was to his vodka. Focusing on him the way I did was not healthy. I didn't start feeling better until I decided to let him to figure out his own stuff (or not as it turns out) and started focusing on what I could do to improve my own situation. It was not easy, it was counter intuitive. I believed for more than two decades that it was my job as his wife to be all up in his business, it was a hard habit to break.
I applaud you not letting her around your daughters during this crisis. I hope you have the strength and support system in place to be able to hold your ground on this. I know it's very hard to do with work, and 100% of the parenting duties, but please do try to carve out some time for yourself. You need to keep your own batteries charged so you have the energy to share with those two precious girls.