Charlotte
Welcome to our forums and please know that you are not alone.
You may feel more comfortable on the Al-Anon or Nar-Anon boards (the same people use both) as there are many people there who have been where you are and who would be happy to share their experience, strength and hope.
Please feel free to join us and tell us a little more about yourself. There is a lot of great information on the "sticky" posts at the top of each of those boards, so have a read around and make yourself at home.
I am going to copy this post down there for you so you won't have to type it all out again. I hope that is okay with you and that you will find the responses more appropriate to your need.
Again, welcome.