Jeff, you say you don’t know to do, what have tried?
I get it , be willing to bet I’m clinically depressed and feels like I’ve been for as long as “I” can remember. I think I decided to not care about that self diagnosis and I think adopting that stance was part of my Big Plan.
My BP is so compartmentalized that it literally only has to do with permanent alcohol abstinence.
I do try and not ‘do evil’, but I know or at least think for sure , I could do more /better for myself , but for whatever reasons I keep choosing not to.
Part of my lack of motivation is I’m not convinced what I ‘live with’ isn’t just the ‘human condition’ but it could also be myriad other causes .
Not offering any solutions, I really don’t think I have any , just adding to say , yep hear ya.