LPG,
Congratulations on your years of sobriety.
I was thinking about your contemplation of moderation and Im wondering what it is what you are looking for. Is there something like an experience or emotion you are seeking that you think can only be found in drinking moderate amounts of alcohol?
I know from my days of binge drinking that moderation became unachievable for me. And really, I didn't want to just have a couple of beers back then. What I wanted was to drink like a fish but then not suffer any consequences for doing so. I know now if I were to start drinking I might be able to limit myself to a few for a few times but eventually I'd lose control again. And white knuckling it through a couple of drinks and using extreme self control to only drink 3 beers in 2 hours doesn't sound like a fun way to spend my time.
I used to get a lot of anxiety after drinking and my cure was to drink again. When I stopped, I never felt that morning anxiety of waking up and regretting what I'd done. Nowadays, I might think of how booze "took the edge" off but then I have to remember that it was booze that caused all the anxiety in the first place.
Good luck to you.