Maddoc, I'm sorry you went through all that, I really am. Aside from everything you got hurt again and I'm sure this whole episode was really rather traumatic for you, despite having visited it before.
It tough, for a couple of days you had this slightly normal person that you love and then he went off the rails again. It is often said here to tell an alcoholic "no" to anything and see how that goes, well I think you well and truly have your answer.
His responses to you don't surprise me at all to be honest. Why did he say that about the "wife" and the "maid" and saying he is going to kill himself and sending you the clip of the tv show you both watch? That's his sad way of trying to get you back. He doesn't function on an honest, respectful level, he doesn't understand that people respond to kindness and love, he uses manipulation. It's not working on your now, that is a great thing.
Oh and he did sleep with the "maid" if there is any doubt there and whoever this person is that left her clothes behind has other clothes there so that isn't an issue. Alternately he was so horrible to her she ran out without her pants, which sadly, is also possible!
I know he probably has a good side, I know it's hurtful, but honestly, as he is now he cannot be in any kind of normal relationship with anyone. It could be underlying issues or it could just be that he is so far in to his alcoholism that it has affected him to this degree. Either way, not relationship material, not even friend material.