Hey lpg. I have the same thoughts. Sometimes I’m rational about the thoughts, sometimes I let them float around too long. I’m battling weight and sugar addiction right now, so I’ve been able to bat it off by saying “once I tackle this then we will see.”
Tatsy is right. The bad drinking comes back. It’s not a maybe, it’s a certainty. I’ve never been sober this long, so my brain is fooled into the “I’m fixed” thing also. Plus, I just don’t have that many people around who seem to care much about my sobriety.
I have to care for myself. Lately I’ve been focusing on those old “good times.” Focus on some events you had toward the end of your drinking. At the very worst, they were horrendous. At the very least, you were numb. Neither one of those is much of a promise.
I have to find ways to get that old euphoria back, I have other ways, it’s just elusive right now, especially with his pandemic.
Try to focus.