Things sound like they are going well, why would you want to jeopardize that? Remember, you got sober for a very specific reason (like all of us) that
the drinking was causing very serious issues. Even your own words are "be the drunken emotional suicidal wreck I was before?" You should always remember that.
But, yes I think it is common for us to think can we chance it again at some stage. I know I did after a few periods of being sober. The thing was I was lucky to make it back the last time.
Keep the beast in check. Good luck.