Just watched Day 16 on The Illusion of Emotional Relief and I'd like to try to write down what I understand from it if only for my own benefit! And another link! Accompanying notes to the videos, and the videos themselves, are at
https://www.thefreedommodel.org/23days/
The presenters were saying that a lot of people believe that alcohol and drugs relieve emotional pain in the short term even while acknowledging that they're not a long-term solution. They made the case, supported by referenced research, that substances have no power at all to relieve emotional pain and that it's important to see this because if we believe that they do, even if only temporarily, then we will very naturally want to drink/use if we feel that we "need" this sort of relief.
They also looked at emotions and said that emotions don't happen "to" us, they happen "by" us. They come from they way we interpret they things that happen to us. So if we have a drink we experience a buzz and believe, from our past experience, or rather, how we selectively recall our own experiences, and our cultural conditioning, e.g. from the way alcohol is usually portrayed in films as a stress reliever, that this will lead to us feeling happier and more relaxed. And we may very well feel happy and relaxed, although not always!, but these feelings are coming from our expectation and our thoughts, not from the alcohol itself. This seems right to me because how can a lifeless compound like alcohol insert feelings and thoughts into our minds?
They emphasise the point that "substances cannot change the content of our thoughts". This is not saying that substances have no effect on us at all. Alcohol for example usually lowers the heart rate and raises blood pressure, although it sometimes has the opposite effect, and releases endorphins. But even endorphins can't change the content of our thoughts. If we're feeling sad, we're still going to have sad thoughts and feelings even after having a drink.
There's a good quote in the notes for this video Your emotions result entirely from the way you look at things. (Burns, 1999). And they make the point that even if the drink seems to work temporarily to relieve our sadness, we can almost certainly remember a time it didnt. If it was the pharmacology of the alcohol relieving our sadness, it would do it every time but it doesnt. They give an example of this of having a drink, feeling relaxed and, of course wrongly, driving home. If a cop car suddenly appears behind you, your calm state of mind will immediately disappear and be replaced by extreme anxiety - if your sense of relaxation was produced by the actual alcohol rather than by your own thoughts, this could not possibly happen. Your relaxation would remain until the effects of the alcohol wore off.
They say that it's much more likely that in those times where substances seem to help, it's actually us doing it by changing our evaluation of events/our perspective or giving ourselves permission to relax or diverting our attention to something else for a little while.
They describe how we construct the illusion that substances can relieve emotional pain:
Distraction: we focus on the buzz as a way of distracting ourselves from stressful or negative thoughts.
Bandaging: we relieve some of the physical symptoms of stress with a substance and then hope it will magically take away the thinking that creates the emotions of stress.
Getting a reprieve: using intoxication as an excuse to others about why we can't carry out a stressful responsibility, e.g. I'm drunk so I can't possibly be left in charge of the hedge trimmer!
To quote the summary from the accompanying notes referenced above:
Substances dont pharmacologically relieve stress.
Substances dont pharmacologically relieve anger.
Substances dont pharmacologically relieve sadness.
Substances dont pharmacologically relieve anxiety or worry.
Substances dont pharmacologically relieve trauma.
Substances dont pharmacologically relieve any negative emotions, not even temporarily.
Only you can relieve those things by changing your perspective, consciously changing your thoughts and assessment of whatever it is that is concerning you.