Obladi

As I mentioned previously, it's not easy for me to accomplish my simple whiteboard list. It's simple, but not easy. Some days I don't have much focus, others I just get lazy. I do hit the majority of the list every day, though, and I think that's pretty good. It's really nice when I get it all done - I feel accomplished and proud of myself. I consistently take my medication, do my chore and attend a meeting (have to! it's a rule!),and eat at least two meals/day. Running around 75% on walking and meditating, but closer to 80-90% on meditation, intentions, inventory and gratitude list. That's all right. Rather than sabotaging myself and adding new things to the list to not get done, I am sticking with what I've got until I'm consistent with these nominal but vital tasks.

The house manager is a bit high strung. Not to say anything aside from giving you a sense of her: She's just over a year sober, 37 years old, separated from her husband due to alcohol compounding other issues, and works in IT. But is so not a nerd. At All. When I first got here, she really had her boot on my neck and I inadvertently crossed her a couple of times. Since then, we're all good. She doesn't bother me and I don't bother her. What I see is a person who puts enormous pressure on herself to do everything right and who is afraid of getting close to any of us. I understand. She's been burned before by women living in the house that she thought were friends; when she had to correct them on some house rule or another, it seems they copped a super-special bad attitude because of that "friendship." So I just try to be a decent person and available when she (infrequently) wants to vent.
There is a 22 year old living in the basement who has close to six months sober. She and I seem very similar in temperament, but she's more... pliable than I am. We both take medication for anxiety and depression and both suffer from the "not good enough" syndrome. And we're both working on it. I like her quite a bit.

Until yesterday, the only other person living in the house proper has been a woman who was in rehab #1 at the same time I was. She's 30, I think, and pretty immature. Everything sucks, she scoffs at the job she got (it's a big come-down)... she's just negative. But peppy. So that's a little weird. I deal with her as if she's eldest because they are very similar.

A new woman moved in yesterday. She's sharing the room with Ms Negative and has really been humbled by her last relapse which was apparently the week before last. She and I have had some really great conversations already.




There is an apartment upstairs where two women who used to live in the house now live. I believe one is 8 months sober and the other is just over a year. I like them both. It's funny/interesting that the woman with the longer sobriety seems much less secure in herself than does the other. But she also has man problems, so that'll do it.

Oh my, I just previewed this post and it's not pretty.
Doing so introduces those peculiar A characters and keeps them. Oy
I just cleaned up and hope it sticks. Either way, I'm going to start a new post because this one is going to drive me batty if I try too hard to make it perfect-looking.