Hi Luv, I hope you find lots of support here.
One thing that is not intuitive to those of us in relationships with alcoholics and addicts, is that stepping back from the situation is the absolutely the best thing you can do. Focus on your own problems (we call it, "your own side of the street"). Addicts and alcoholics need support from others like them and from professionals. Most of us do not fall in that category and even if we did, our relationship makes us non-objective in the situation.
You may not fall in the category of codependent; however, it is probably worth getting yourself to an alanon meeting and reading Codependent No More.
Please let us know how you get on and take care of yourself.