Hi. Don’t really know where to begin & the beginning seems too far away. Married 17 years & it’s been about 5 since I discovered my husband was an alcoholic. I guess I’m here for support & to hear I’m not crazy. He’s a really good hider so I’m stuck in an interesting position. Not naive about reality but for the time being I have no intention of leaving. We have 2 children, 12 & 9. I know there’s an argument to be made for my children being able to experience a healthy loving home, but the fact is that I don’t really trust him to parent without me & I don’t have any way to PROVE he’s unfit or drunk regularly - so in a custody situation I can’t imagine him not getting regular time alone with them. Beyond that, I don’t want to take my kids father away from them for the times he is engaged & loving with them. So here I am, knowing I can’t really fix my marriage, but knowing I'm choosing to stay until my kids are old enough to spend time with him on their own terms. & Coronavirus is the icing on the cake. For now I’m praying he keeps the vodka for the late nights like he’s been doing so we can sleep through the worst of it.
Thanks for letting me share.