I'm sorry horsegirl, you did give it your best try to recoup the money, that's all you could do really.
Why isn't this the same as a "regular" relationship? Because he continues to play with your emotions (may not even be intentional on his part, who knows, but he also doesn't care about other's feelings, or doesn't realize them on any mature level).
In your first thread here at SR you said:
I am confused ,definitely, the mixed signals are the worst , it keeps me guessing .
Please take dandylion's advice:
Extremely Helpful Tip******Learn about "Intermittent Reinforcement". You can google "intermittent reinforcement in psychology". It is the most powerful form of reinforcement. Who knew?
That is what happens when he contacts you.....
This is why you are confused, this is why you want to see him, he has treated you horribly, so it's not his loving attention you are seeking, it's that reinforcement he keeps offering you in dribs and drabs.
Honestly, he was a pretty poor example of a partner wasn't he? It is completely normal to grieve when you leave someone you care about, but that's not all that's going on here.
I am so glad you are seeking outside help and I really hope seeing this therapist can help you to see what else is going on here. That's such a wise move on your part!
In the meantime, please be nice to yourself, try to put one foot in front of the other and realize you still have you to lean on (and us too!).