I'm sad to say I drank again. I just don't know what else to say, other than this is day one and I will not drink today. I also asked my job for a furlough. I don't know if I will get it, but regardless that means I am not going back to work until it's safe. That will take a lot of the stress away, and hopefully give me a better chance.
Thanks to all those who have been so helpful. Sorry to let you all down.