Originally Posted by
Justme2016 
It’s like I was reading my own posts. This weekend Zi did the same. I’m a binge drinker also. I can’t tell you the countless times I wake up just to look at my phone and see what I did. The regret is so painful. This Friday I convinced myself I could have one and told myself you will only drink what’s here and not leave. Thais what I do all the time. Sure enough I binged and I wanted to die. I was so sick. I literally wanted to crawl out of my own skin. So again I will try again but I
Will not try to use down play this. I am an alcoholic and I have no control! Done playing Russian Roulette! You are not alone.
/\neither are you, Justme2016
All sounds too familiar to me. Unless you have gone through it once or twice (or 1000 times in my case), it is really hard to explain what the emotional pain feels like the next morning. It is hard to fathom that one could keep inflicting that kind of misery upon oneself. Time after time, after time 😔 but this is what the addiction does; first you lose control and then your life and everything that matters in it follows it.
I am very grateful that you took the time to share your relapse with us; today is new day and a new opportunity to start over. I will be thinking of you as I am working on my recovery. Just know that someone is praying for you today and that you matter! 🙏🏻