I wonder if it is something like this. My battle with the booze was just one element. Underlying it was the idea that I could control and manipulate my life and the people in it to be as I wanted it to be with no submission to God or any kind of moral authority. In a sense I was my own god. Solutions and help were pushed my way but I could not make use of them, instead once again trying it my way. Always one more try and one more failure.
I don't recall it specifically, I am not sure my spiritual thinking was at all developed, but perhaps my initial contact with AA, and some other people willing to help, first brought to light the idea that I lacked the power to live successfully and maybe I needed to seek out some Power. "God nonsense" would have been my reaction. I resisted and persisted in trying to do it my way, almost like I was fighting Him off - although I was not aware of any conscious belief at the time.
Eventually I was beaten. Perhaps the surrender was being willing to let in the Power, to be willing to live life on spiritual terms instead of my own. Once through the wreckage clearing part of the steps, the channels were clear enough for the Power to flow. From there it has been relatively straight forward. "What is thy will for me today?" and "Thy will, not mine, be done"
My journey has never involved authoritarian sponsors, and AA has never pushed me in any direction whatever. They just showed me what had worked for them, and blow me down, it worked for me too.