Based on what I understand things are going very wrong inside of you.
I decided that I didn't want to die a drunk. I didn't want people to remember me as a drunk.
I was lucky because I had horrible agoraphobia when I tried to quit. I needed booze for it to quell.
So basically I felt crazy unless I was drinking, drunk, or in detox.
Once the detox subsided, about 4 days, the crazy ramped up.
I could feel it getting better by the moment, but it took over 3 years to feel the separation from the mental issues that kept me drinking.
So, without the crazy, I would not have quit.
If you don't feel that, then you are on a different path then me.
I can offer that exercise and sweets provied all the dopamine and mental relief I used. Sr telling me what I needed today saved my anguish over and over.
Reading horror stories, participating, and trying to help folks here helps me as well.
Thanks for the therapy.