Originally Posted by
entropy1964 
My trauma is absolutely tied to my addiction. So its brutal to sort. I have no faith that I can ever sort my trauma. I've tried it all. I'd love to know what program you are in.
AA is re-traumatizing. I can't do it. I can attend meetings and commune. But the steps? Nope. EMDR tends to lead me back to sleep paralysis, for some reason. And those episodes are traumatizing in themselves. Counselors, one on one, generally aren't effective. Group therapy is probably where it's at.
I dunno. I just keep pushing it farther away and hope it doesn't take over. Never know how long the dam will hold tho.
O, sending you good wishes.
I'd love to tell you about it.. This will probably be too much information lol but I'm signed up as a "student" (due to grant funding it's very inexpensive- $100/month for 6-9 months, or $60/month for 18 months) and when I'm done I'll be certified to offer individual sessions and/or teach it to a group if I choose to do that.
So there's the option of just doing it one on one with someone, but I find the group aspect of it to be invaluable. Even if the certification part of it was or is a scam, I would still want to do it this way. If I can earn money from it afterwards that's just a bonus at this point. The interesting thing is it's all online.. so it's for people all across the US and our group sessions are held twice a week via zoom.
I think what sets it apart from normal counseling is there's a specific "curriculum" to follow regarding addiction and trauma, but it's made abundantly clear we can all adapt it to fit our individual needs, beliefs, and circumstances. Including the higher power concept, which at least in the group I'm in seems to tilt more towards the new age/spiritual side.
And the childhood trauma stuff it goes into is really what I've desperately wanted/needed to address, especially if I choose to have my own kid(s) some day.. and who knew the whole biological clock thing is actually real, I don't have an infinite amount of time to decide.
Anyway, that's a lot of rambling but I will PM you a link to it.