To SmartRose
It's been quite a difficult time, but he's clean and has been for about a month-and-a-half. Clean drug tests and no signs or symptoms. Withdrawal was horrible for him, and he did most of it in a hotel room. He's home now, and we had our first joint counseling session last week. He found the counselor, made the appointment, and filled out the paperwork.
He seems to be committed to staying clean and repairing our relationship. I'm vigilant and will be for a long time to come. I've had lots of support, including that of my adult son in recovery (who's doing great, by the way.)
I think my husband's path has been a bit unusual. He didn't get formal, professional help. He didn't go to a meeting. He managed to clean himself up, and I hope like hell he stays that way. I still test him occasionally because I'm not always the quickest at picking up signs he's using. So far, so good.
I wish you the best, SmartRose. Take care of yourself, first and foremost. As far as friends and family, I ended up telling the people I am closest to. My husband wasn't happy about it, but I needed the support. The way I figured it, if he didn't want people to know he was using, he needed to stop using!