Originally Posted by
Kat1313 
DaisyBelle7,
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story and plan with me. My feelings are very raw today, but I am trying to do all I can to make Day 1 count. Cannot remember what I did or said last night, and it is making me nuts! I feel like I acted like a fool in front of people because I could not stand straight on my feet. Can’t even remember how I got home. I did not drive, that’s a fact. All I remember was looking at my husband and son’s faces when I stumbled through the door and fell down on a floor before I could close the door behind me. Very “lady-like” �� how awful and so not who I want to be. Five hour binge messed me up so bad that I cannot recover emotionally and physically from it almost 24 hours later. How will I face people I was with? I cannot even look at myself in the mirror without feeling shameful. I will never forget what I am feeling right now. I could have spent those 5 hours with my family.....instead, I chose drinking. ������
For my last 3 years of drinking, I blacked out probably 95% of the time and there were a lot of times. It’s impossible for us to remember because in a blackout, we don’t form memories. There’s nothing there, so don’t try to recall because you’ll drive yourself crazy. I’ve done and said horrible things during blackouts, I’m sure most of us have. The thing I learned, is it’s likely that the people you were with were also drinking so they may not have a good memory of last night. I know it’s raw today, but do your best not to dwell on it because you can’t go back & change it. Channel that energy into making a recovery plan that works for you.
Once you start working through your recovery plan, your feelings of shame and guilt will subside. Look at it this way... what happened last night got you to where you are right now. Don’t let there be another night like last night. I promise you, it’s WAY better to wake up sober every morning, remembering what I did last night, not having to apologize, not having a hangover or be vomiting... there’s no downside to being sober.