Originally Posted by
Dee74 
Not sure if its desensitisation or just simply acceptance for me - but I can go anywhere and do anything with anyone now and not want to drink or miss it.
Its a great freedom
I really want to get like this Dee.
I don’t want to keep wanting to drink.
Because I can’t just have one. I never even wanted just one.
I drank to get drunk since I was 15. It’s not easy changing 35 years of a daily thing. Because I still want to drink, even though I don’t want to drink. If that makes sense. I just want to escape. But I have to figure out why I keep trying to run away from my life. I keep talking about going back to a counsellor but I still haven’t. And I threw away the antidepressant because they made me feel so sick. But I can’t seem to find my happy place when people and pets keep dying around me.
Sorry for the sad sack post.
Yesterday was just a total crap day.
But I’m taking this morning off to have coffee with my sister and have some downtime from work which has been totally nuts. I think I’ve just been too busy to process my feelings and gotten a bit overwhelmed again. So I need to slow down a bit. My Uncle and my cat passing away threw me for six and I need some space to process it, and I don’t think I’ve really dealt with Mum and Dad’s passing yet either.
So it’s back to the doc for a referral to a counsellor. And I’m going to do it today, not just think about it and keep putting it off