Stay strong, Bee. I can imagine that winter there can make one a bit glum (although we tend to romanticise snowy weather over here - because we don't have to deal with shoveling it , deal with sludge etc etc)
Keep fighting the doldrums and try and stay happy. Try another hobby , maybe? Join a bookclub?I find that reading really helps me escape when I feel locked up in my own mind. I just finished the newest Isabel Allende - it was stunning. Now reading American Dirt - think it's going to be a good read.
Hugs to you (((((((()))))))))XXXXXXXXXX